Lying (celebrity) Liars Who Lie

Okay, I really need to get this out of my system...

I love you people, but seriously? Kristen Stewart is NOT and has NEVER BEEN in a relationship with Robert Pattinson.

Please stop with the weeping and gnashing of teeth about her "affair" with some married dude. 

That entire story was a lie too. Because you know what? NOW you know who Rupert Sanders is, and what his face looks like.  Just ask yourself this: Why is there a VERY clear photo of Stewart and Rupaul, er, Rupert in a VERY open area and NO clear kissing images of she and her "boyfriend" who she's supposedly been with for THREE FREAKIN' YEARS? They're only seen together for Twilight press.

They've never said that they're together. The media said that. And the Edward and Bella lovers of the world projected their feelings about these characters onto these relatively unknown actors. The tidal wave of attention and admiration that suddenly washed over them must have felt incredible.

Sure, let people believe we're in love. Who's it going to hurt?

And a metric fuckton of money was shat out of the ass of this enormous cash cow. Bravo, Summit Studios. Bravo, assholes.

This happens in Hollywood all the time and the reasons for the deceptions vary widely. Many times the deception is about publicity and staying relevant, but sometimes the deception is about hiding a gay lifestyle. (Stewart is widely rumored to be a lesbian. If that's true, that might be the most interesting thing about her. Her beauty and talent are totally overshadowed by her personality which is like a kid wearing doody diapers.)

Who are a few other celebs with rumored fake arm candy?

George Clooney and Stacy Keibler: Really George? You guys have absolutely no discernible chemistry. I can't imagine you have much to talk about. But whatever. I suppose your publicist will go bat shit insane if people stop asking you if you're ever going to get married again.

Kim and Kanye: I love how the two most terrible people in pop culture (other than Mel Gibson) have made their way into each other's lives. Nice follow-up to your fake ass marriage Kim.

 Liza Minnelli and David Gest: Dude was like Captain SuperGay and everyone knew it. When he was told to "kiss the bride" it looked like he was eating Liza's face. 

Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden: Ew. Just ew. Um, excuse me? You got a little desperation on your face. What happens when no one is interested in granting you freaks a reality series? 

And now for your entertainment...I give you the vocal stylings of Ms. Courtney Stodden. I would apologize in advance for offending your musical sensibilities, but this shit is so funny you'll thank me later. (By the way...5 million views and over 73 thousand DISLIKES. Lol!!) 

And of course, Tom Cruise and John Travolta merit a mention.

The most appalling liars?

J. Edgar Hoover: Who was also hiding the African American side of his heritage. Yes chile, he was passing for white...but that's another blog for another time. Meanwhile, you can read about it here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/therootdc/post/was-j-edgar-hoover-black/2011/11/20/gIQAZcu3kN_blog.html

Ed Koch: Showed up at a couple of events with Miss America. He was doing a little too much, because people were already hip to who his lover was.

Bishop Eddie Long: His sexual relationships with teenage boys in his congregation were barely hidden. Charges were filed, settlements were reached but the majority of his congregation were so blinded by loyalty, they lifted him up as "King". Seriously. 

I think part of this bizarre behavior has to do with much of the black community being in major denial about how common homosexuality is among African Americans.

Ted Haggard: Yet another in the long line of Bible thumping hypocritical preachers using hell-fire and damnation rhetoric to cloak their own gay desires and behaviors.

Celebrity lifestyles and the lives of public figures are so WEIRD nowadays. So much of them are fabricated as if by formula. WE are part of that equation...even the stupid shit. 

All I'm saying is maybe we should read more books. Or not. I don't judge.

Lol! Who the hell am I kidding! Yes, I do. It's one of my many super powers.

See ya'll later...

Standards of Beauty or S.O.B.

Hello my lovelies...

Whenever you see irate Wonder Woman, you'll know I'm a little annoyed. Yes, yes, I know she's built kinda like Barbie with a side of Xena the Warrior Princess but her eyes show the white hot fury of a thousand suns, so she serves my purpose.

Recently, I ran across a website comparing Sarah Jessica Parker's face to the face of an actual HORSE. Yes. A freakin' animal! I was appalled.

I have no idea what the owner of that website looks like but I like to think their face resembles saggy monkey balls.  Stupid asshat.

How do you know when western standards of beauty are bullshit? WHEN EVEN CUTE WHITE GIRLS CAN'T ATTAIN THEM!  

This mentality is incredibly damaging to young girls of all races...Gabby Sidibe has had to listen to people say she'll never work again simply because of her weight (this in an age when Snookie and The Situation have a tv show? WTF!?) and Heidi Montag has surgically changed her entire appearance just to be accepted by people she doesn't even know. 

Every time I look in the mirror I see my mother's face. I can't imagine the kind of self-hatred it would take for me to cut it away.

STOP THE MADNESS!

Just for you, my lovelies~

Top 3 Ways to Identify Asshats:

#3 Asshat Indicator

Women who see other attractive women and then roll their eyes and call them a bitch under their breath.

#2 Asshat Indicator

Men and women who think curvy women like Kim Kardashian are fat and need to drop a few.

#1 Asshat Indicator

Men who encourage their women to have plastic surgery to fit some ridiculous beauty ideal.

?????????????????????????????????

Okay, random question... why are all the Black women on America's Next Top Model enforcing EVERY NEGATIVE stereotype ever invented about Black women? Really Tyra? Really?

Of course, on a positive note, a couple of them look like they've been dipped in chocolate!

CHIC OF THE WEEK: SJP in Marchesa

This damn dress drives me insane! 

It's like goth, rock & roll fairy godmother out on the town. I heart it. 

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Okay, now that I've ranted all night, I feel much better now. I think raging Wonder Woman may be dragged back to her cage soon.  I can hear the sirens in the distance...

Until next time, keep it cute!