Okay, I know I've been M.I.A. on here for months but that's over now. Bygones.
Anyway, I recently saw an interview with Mitch Winehouse (Amy Winehouse's father) in which he talked about how Amy's ex-husband said openly that he liked getting high and had no reason to stop. He was the first person to take a needle to Amy's veins. Of course, she was a grown woman and responsible for her own actions but Blake Fielder-Civil had a huge mitt-sized hand in her demise.
Blake Fielder-Civil is a loser. Everything he touches turns to shit. Classic Reverse Midas Touch.
There's a metric fuckton of people out there with Reverse Midas Touch and they all want to be your friend, partner, boyfriend and/or spouse. Be careful if you invite them in. It might be fun for a while, but it always goes downhill. Without fail.
Here's my litmus test to detect losers: I feel emotionally and physically WORSE (physically as in tired, drunk, hungover, sore or injured) after spending time with them. Sound familiar? Then don't feel bad about telling those mutherfuckers to take the highway. Just sayin'.
On another topic: Weed Texting=Drunk Texting. Stop the madness, people!!!
On yet another topic, why are all the Republican candidates for President batshit crazy??!! How are we supposed to be respected on a world stage with a president who rejects science, wants to set women's rights back 50 years and doesn't know basic American history? (I'm talking about you, Michele Bachmann)
Michele Bachmann stars in The Shining
Vladimir Putin would make them piss their pants. Obama isn't perfect but the Republican candidates are a joke. The American people deserve better than those idiots spouting off platitudes while standing atop haystacks in "Real America". These people have no power or influence other than what is given to them by voters. Right now, they are so very FAIL.
You see what just happened? A blog of rant. It's uncool and it happens when I go too long between posts. Won't happen again. Bygones.
I recently read a blog posting called "Why Are Black Women Rated Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women but Black Men Are Rated Better Looking Than Other Men?" I didn't make that up. This kind of mind-numbing absurdity has been rampant lately and I'm so sick of it! If one were to read only that brand of B.S., they'd think black women were irrational, mean, perpetually single, fat, diabetic, sex obsessed, diseased, gold-digging, uneducated, baby-making machines. This ridiculous and untrue caricature is so pervasive that even black women are buying into it. The articles, blogs and YouTube vlogs have been coming fast and furious for a solid year and surprisingly, most of the vitriol on YouTube about black women is coming from black men.
I'm fighting back. This is my shot across the bow.
To the black men of America,
We need you. We can't beat back these horrible perceptions by ourselves. This is your fight too, because if black women are reduced to "throwaway" status, then guess who's next? You, your sons, your friends, your brothers and your fathers. The attack on black women is really about tearing power away from black men. Don't get it twisted. The minute enough of you disregard black women as people who are beneath you, you've made yourself more vulnerable. Think about that for a moment.
Of course, we've always had a deep and unwavering love for you. It's the kind of love that made Nikki Giovanni tattoo 'Thug Life' on her arm, made Beyonce sing "You set me free" and Lauryn Hill write lyrics like "Sweet prince of the ghetto."
Don't write us off.
Nikki Giovanni shows her Thug Life tattoo
To my black sisters,
Stop drinking the Kool-Aid.
The brazen lies, misconceptions, bullshit "research", deliberate negative imagery and editing depicting black women as vile, angry sapphires has messed with your head.
Remember the last psychological attack on the black community? The overblown and much over-hyped down low "epidemic"? There were never any real statistics about this phenomenon but black men were made out to be lying, sexual predators responsible for the increase of HIV infections in the black community. And then just like that...the panic stopped.
This attack on black women is more of that same kind of bullshit. Don't buy into it. Don't believe that you're something you're not.
Maya Angelou is NOT a booty bouncing skank.
Phylicia Rashad is NOT mean or emasculating.
Michelle Obama is NOT a diseased, gold-digging whore.
Condoleeza Rice is NOT uneducated and vapid.
Zoe Saldana is NOT perpetually single and desperate.
Oprah Winfrey is NOT a sex crazed nympho.
Assata Shakur is NOT a baby-making machine.
Kimberly Elise is NOT unattractive.
For all of the disgusting stereotypes used to label black women, there are legions of black women disproving them all. Including YOU.
Keep your head up...
Remember who you really are.
Love you ladies! See you next post. Until then, keep it cute!
Need to contact me? Click here.
I recently found out that neo soul artist, D'Angelo, was arrested for trying to get a $40 blow job from a prostitute who turned out to be a cop.
D'Angelo (real name Michael Archer) hasn't put out an album for many years and his manager Dominique Trenier has been quoted saying that it was his video 'Untitled' that sent his career spiraling. He appeared butt ass naked in the video and apparently, he was traumatized by how his female fan base objectified him relentlessly afterward. Nobody cared about the music anymore. Just his sexy 'Ken lines' (see photo above if you don't know what 'Ken lines' are). In defense of the ladies, that video was a pure celebration of his beauty (at that time, because now he's all swollen and busted) and the song was secondary.
Maybe D'Angelo should have listened to George Michael's lyrics in his song 'Freedom'..."When you shake yo' ass/ they notice fast/ some mistakes were built to last".
Anyway, I don't wanna talk about that man's career! I'm one of those pervy women who wants to talk about his ass! Kidding!
It's actually the intense sensuality in the song 'Untitled' that I want to explore. Even if I'd never seen the video, I'd still think the song was liquid hot sex in aural form. If aliens from Mars landed here and wanted to know about human sex, I would definitely play them this song...
What are a few other deliciously nasty songs that bring the sexy?
Insatiable by Prince "You say you want my hips up in the air/yeah/oh no, I don't care"
Crown Royal by Jill Scott "In your hands and your lips and your tongue tricks/And you're so thick, and you're so thick"
Neglekted by Afghan Wigs "You can fuck my body baby/but please, don't fuck my mind"
Slow Like Honey by Fiona Apple "My big secret/gonna keep you comin'/slow like honey heavy with mood"
Closer, Let's Get it On and Sexual Healing: Way too obvious but meriting mention
Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge
One hit wonder, I think. But the song is carnal and honest. "I want to hold you close/soft breath, beating heart/As I whisper in your ear/I wanna fuckin' tear you apart"
Say Yes by Floetry
Oooo chile, these girls moan all through this freakin song!
I was gonna include Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band, but upon studying the lyrics...it's a total stalker fantasy song. Love you, Dave but the song is a tad creepy.
If by Janet Jackson "Your smooth and shiny feels so good against my lips, baby/ I want you so bad I can taste your love right now, sugar"
Erotic City by Prince "If we cannot make babies, maybe we can make some time/Thoughts of pretty u and me, Erotic City come alive/We can fuck (Prince would have us believe the word they used was 'funk') until the dawn, making love 'til cherry's gone, Erotic City can't u see, thoughts of pretty U and me."
These next songs aren't really sexy to me but they use some really fun-to-decode euphemisms for sex acts:
If You Seek Amy by Britney Spears.
Really Brit-Brit? You're spelling F-U-C-K on the radio for your 15 year old fans? Bet those Red State soccer moms were clutching their pearls.
Like a Prayer by Madonna
This song is about blow jobs. Always has been and always will be. Madonna just used extreme imagery in her music video to distract those pearl clutching soccer moms. A black Jesus and burning crosses definitely made them throw up in their mouths a little. But the young girls singing along to this little ditty (including myself) were singing about cock-cicles.
Alphabet Street by Prince
(I know this list is Prince heavy, but back in the day, The Artist put all his freaky impulses on full display. I haven't even touched on his heartwarming lyrics in a little known song called 'Jack U Off'.)
Alphabet Street is about cunnilingus. Really.
Of course, this is just a tiny piece of my list. If I included the whole thing, it would take me all night!
Next time, clothes and shoes are back on the agenda. I've seen some damn fine deals, lately! Besides, I'm just a tiny bit traumatized by Prince's pubes. My next post is gonna be light, frothy and totally G rated...at least until the nightmares stop.
Hello my lovelies!
The Oscars are this Sunday and as I was tooling around on the internet looking for clues that would help me with my office Oscar pool, I ran across some very interesting information...
According to a new study evaluating the longevity of marriages and relationships of Best Actress Oscar Winners and Best Actor Oscar Winners, the relationships of the actresses fall apart much more often and sooner than their male counterparts. Apparently, this trend is about the suddenly more potent power, prestige, influence and possible earning power of the female Oscar winner and their partner's struggle with that power.
According to an article on The Huffington Post, researchers have seen this surprising pattern:
"Researchers compared actresses who won Best Actress statuettes from 1936 to 2010 to those who were nominated but didn't win, and found that winners were, indeed, 1.68 times as likely to divorce as non-winners. Of the 265 married nominees, 159 eventually divorced--a whopping 60 percent. The same was not true for men--there was no significant difference in divorce risk for Best Actor winners and Best Actor nominees."Click here to read the whole article and see the research.
Is it possible that a female's success and respect in her field serves as an effective weed-out tool exposing men who have archaic and ass-backward ideas about gender roles? That seems to be the case. (Okay, I'll admit that I secretly believe that Halle Berry probably became an insufferable diva when she won her Oscar. I can't give her the benefit of the doubt anymore. The stories about her nuttiness are ubiquitous and unrelenting. Where there's smoke there's fire.)
Of course, in defense of the men, women seem to also have low tolerance for a man who's not able to bring as much to the table as she can. Remember that song by Destiny's Child called "Bills, Bills, Bills"? That shit is real. In the video, Beyonce's country ass called that dude 'trifling' and 'good for nothing' REPEATEDLY throughout that entire song...and the women are dancing and smiling as they sing it. (Not to mention, wearing wack ass Tina Knowles original "fashions"). The fellas get very strong messages from women on a daily basis that reinforce traditional gender roles. It's a vicious cycle.
Remember Erykah Badu's "Call Tyrone"? The very first two lines are, "I'm gettin' tired of yo' shit. You don't neva buy me nothin." (I still love that bratty song!)
I think the Oscar Curse probably comes from a combination of these two dynamics. The tensions in the homes of those celebrity couples (and the insecurities of both the man and the woman) probably quietly bubbled up when the Oscar nominations were announced. It was probably much worse for couples with existing problems.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Natalie Portman for more than just the Best Actress nod.
On another note...
Esteemed CBS journalist, Lara Logan was brutally beaten and sexually assaulted in Cairo, Egypt on January 11, 2011.
It was the day Hosni Mubarak stepped down. The crowd was celebrating and she was in the middle of it with her crew, covering the story.
Suddenly, they were surrounded by a large crowd of angry men and somehow Lara got separated from her crew. The men viciously beat her and she endured what the news media called "sustained sexual assault." That's code for gang rape. Those disgusting cowards.
I cannot fucking imagine the kind of pain and fear she must have felt. Those men reduced her to an object symbolizing everything they hate about the West. Hey assholes? You do realize that rape makes you a low life piece of shit right? You're no hero. You're lower than dog shit.
But she will still have a BIG fucking microphone and a voice that has a WORLD-WIDE reach.
This won't silence her or anyone like her. For every Daniel Pearl taken down, three more will come up in his place. For every Anderson Cooper punched in the face, ten more will stand up. So fuck you.
I believe that women are extremely powerful beings...part of that power is sexual power. And all too often, sexual assault or sexual coercion are used to thwart that power.
This type of shit needs to stop. Keep your head up, Lara. I can't wait to see you back on the job.
Recently, I was on the Facebook page of an acquaintance of mine when something wholly bizarre and disturbing caught my eye...
The profile picture of the man she is dating showed him in black face. Yes THAT kind of black face. Fuckin' Al Jolson type shit.
I figured my eyes were playing tricks on me, so I examined the image closer. Yep. It was him in black face....wearing gold teeth, a wig with braids and mulit-colored beads on the ends, a cap with a marijuana leaf and thick gold chains.
Of course, I was heated, but instead of starting a war of words on someone else's Facebook wall (who I didn't really know), I brought it up to someone I was close to at the time who also happened to be friends with the black face offender. Here is the appalling shit I found out:
The black face offender (who will be called 'BFO' from now on) claimed he had never heard of the term 'back face'. Never knew the history behind it and didn't know that it was offensive to black people. He was dressed like Lil Wayne for Halloween in the photo in question. He thought it was funny.
The real Lil' Wayne
He had dressed like black people (in black face) before....6 TIMES!
He and his roommate dressed like Venus and Serena Williams for Halloween one year. They even padded their butts to make them look cartoonishly large and round.
The people who are friends with this guy are also friends or acquaintances of mine and I am a big believer that your friends are a reflection of you...at least in some ways. I believe this, because people choose their friends. Even if they end up in your life by default somehow, if you let them stay and give them the privilege of your time, then you've chosen them. There are no coincidences.
The person I talked to about this (a minority but not a black person and friend of the BFO) was open to hearing my point of view and admitted to being terribly uncomfortable when he saw this 'costume'. (He was at that fool's Halloween party). I was shocked that he hung out at the party, having drinks and laughs while that Idiot #1 and his roommate, Idiot #2, walked around in black face because they thought it was funny. To whom? Who were they trying to entertain??
A couple of weeks later, I heard that the BFO commented on the Facebook wall of one of his friends and another person who saw the disgusting photo next to his post did what I chose not to do. He started a war of words on the person's wall and then the shit storm began.
There were actually people defending the BFO: "You're a good person. You could never be racist! Don't listen to these people." This came from white AND black people.
This ignorant shit from a black male: "Man I friended you on Facebook because you were dressed as Lil Wayne!"
There was outrage: "I will never believe that you didn't know anything about black face. You should remove this picture immediately!" This also came from black AND white people.
And there was white hot fury from the shit storm starter: "Saying you didn't know about black face after wearing it repeatedly is like putting on a white sheet with a pointy hood and then saying you've never heard of the Klu Klux Klan!" Fucking fine point, sir.
About this vapid display of racism cloaked in comedy: Before this incident, I really thought these people were better people than this. They are not.
Even if they're out saving the whales and driving the trucks to deliver food to starving Haitians, this incident calls their character into question. Where was their intellectual curiosity about other people and cultures? Where was the BFO's empathy toward the people he dressed up as (6 TIMES!) because he thought it was FUNNY to dress as a black person?
Why didn't his friends and girlfriend tell him the truth instead of letting him feel like it's okay? Fucking SCRUBS...they're out of my life.
So for anyone who doesn't know about the history of black face and you actually have an intellectual curiosity about this dark chapter in our history, check this out. (And I said OUR history because black history IS American history.)
The fascination with the voluptuous backsides of black women has a dark history as well. Ever hear of Sara Baartman? Watch this and get out your tissues.
Think black face is a thing of the past? Nope. It has evolved in the same way racism has evolved. It's subtle, but the buffoonery and humiliation is still the trademark...
And it's NOT cute. You guys know how I feel about the cuteness!
Until next time, peace and love, y'all.
I live in Los Angeles, which is second only to New York in utter fabulousness. I love dresses and shoes but I also love and respect the contents of my wallet. I'm always looking for a great deal. My mother taught me how to sew when I was a kid and I made clothes for my Barbies with the scraps of fabric she gave me.
Guess I'm still playing dress up.
